Monday, April 10, 2006

Premed Drama

I'm a premed student at the university I attend, and this morning in our 7am premed seminar we had an oral maxillofacial surgeon come in and speak to us, accompanied by a slide show containing a rather wide plethora of surgical procedures covered in great detail thanks to graphic photos of the operations. And boy, did we get a kick out of it. After 20 minutes of gasps and audible shudders of horror, the guest doctor was interrupted by a perplexed student.

"Uhh...the guy next to me just passed out..."

Though shocking for the other 198 people in the class, the doctor appeared as if just given a promotion, cracking a huge smile and approaching the fallen student. (Mistake #1: He left the gruesome 20'x15' picture on the screen)

"Hey, buddy, you ok? Have you eaten breakfast?"
"Let's lie you down here." (to the class) "Anybody got some juice to give him?"

From the mass of rubber-necking students there arose one who pulled a half-gallon jug of orange juice out of his backpack (who carries jugs of orange juice in their backpacks???), who proceeded up to the doctor amid shouts and laughter from fellow students. After a few minutes of doctoring the pale-green kid, the doctor returned to the front of the room. He explained how many of his first-year dental students pass out weekly, and he's totally prepared for it. (Mistake #2: He didn't change the gruesome picture the entire time)

"Get ready to pass out at least once," he announced to the class. "It happens to most first-years of dental or medicine. Now, where was I..."

At precisely this moment another shout pierced the awkward silence.

"Another guy just passed out!"

Not ten feet from me a kid just slumped over to one side and appeared to start seizing for a moment before lying still again. Doctor made his way over to him (he was much closer this time) and was in front of the kid when he suddenly sat up, acheived a great deer-in-the-headlights gaze, and looked suspiciously around the room. His gaze continued as he laid eyes on everyone else's, including the doctor's.

"How you doin'?" asked the doctor.
"Umm...o...k....." he replied.
"D'you fall asleep?" (scattered chuckling)
"I don't think so..."
"D'you wanna lie down?" (more laughter)
"...Yeah, that'd be a good idea..."

The next few minutes doc and a few guys helped the now green sophomore stagger to the back where the other prostrate student was, and placed him in similar fashion next to his fallen comrade.

Needless to say, the doc didn't show any more pictures the rest of the morning.

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